


The Shadowhunter's Tale

by Saxony55



Category: Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare
Genre: Alternate Universe - Past Lives, F/M, M/M, Non-Canon Relationship, Slash, Vampire Simon
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-10-11
Updated: 2015-02-08
Packaged: 2017-12-29 03:16:42
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 15,073
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1000228
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Saxony55/pseuds/Saxony55
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is not current time. Think Canterbury Tales and this is Jace's story.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> I know I'm still working on The Mortal Face and it is still my baby, but I had the idea for this based on a pic of Jamie from Camelot and Robert from Season of the Witch. I've been unable to get the idea out of my head so I decided to give it a try.

Prologue

I had the dream again. The one I’ve had more often than I care to admit. My heart is racing as I get out of bed covered in sweat and pace around my room. I close my eyes and I see him. The dark curly hair, the pale skin, his dark eyes boring into mine, and I’m swept up into my thoughts of this man. I can feel him, his hands on my body, his breath against my neck. He wants me and I give in to him. In every dream I always give in to him even though I know I shouldn’t. I’m a shadowhunter. I’m a demon hunter. I’m a destroyer of Downworlders and yet I let him pull my hair back. I let him bite me and drink my blood and the worst part is that in every dream I like it. It’s euphoric and I am lost in him. He is young and strong and I am eager.

This vampire haunts my dreams and my every waking thought is all too consuming with finding him. A part of me wants to think that I should kill him. I should find him, hunt him down like the dog he is, and slay him. My mind knows this is what needs to be done, but my body yearns for him in a way that is truly unholy. The memories of a fantasy world in my mind are all I have and I wish I could describe him better. I want to illustrate all the ways he makes me feel. His eyes taunt me, his body takes me. I shiver with every thought of him. I tried early on to fight the excitement I felt for him, but it was all in vain. 

My name is Jace Herondale. The year is 1374. I live in Oxford, England, but I am not your average man. The blood of angels flows in my body and I have trained the entirety of my life for our cause. I am a shadowhunter and I sacrifice myself for the lives of humans. I am sworn to protect them from the evil that invades our world. At 17 I am considered a man and yet I feel as though I am still just a boy. Isabelle Lightwood is my betrothed and yet I do not love her. We were raised together, trained side by side, always knowing one day she was to be my wife. She will bare my children, my name will go on, but all I think about is the vampire lost in my mind. I’m not even sure if he’s real or a figment of my imagination. I only know that I want him in a way that I’ve never wanted Isabelle and I’m sure to burn in hell for it.

The one person I’m closest to is Alexander Lightwood; he is my Parabatai and Isabelle’s brother. We are closer than brothers ourselves and one day we will be. I have never spoken a word of my illicit dreams to him. I know that he would never understand them. He is to wed Clarissa Fairchild and when he looks at her I am reminded of Isabelle. I fear he longs for his betrothed no more than I desire for mine. Sometimes when he doesn’t know I’m watching I’ve caught him looking at me. I think he craves me like I do the vampire in my dreams. I feel I will be tormented for as long as I live. Punishment for all that I have murdered, even though it is my duty. 

Chills tingle up my arm at the thought; the room is cold so I stoke the fire dwindling down in my room. It is the only light in the darkness. The fire glinting off the metal of my weapons reminding me that I am a warrior, it is the task that I was given in my life. I belong to the shadow world. I will never be my own man. I am a defender of good and I have to triumph or perish. There is no room for dreams and fantasies of something I can never have. I must find a way to shut out the illusions of this vampire, this sinful lust. I am not proud of my emotions. I don’t want to be so lost in him. I don’t want for him to take my breath away every time I close my eyes. I don’t want to be tortured by my thoughts. I am but a shadowhunter and this is my story.


	2. Call to Arms

I’d barely gone back to sleep when the sun was up and Alexander was calling for me. It was time to do our job, we had lives to defend. I got dressed in our fighting attire. Leather pants and jackets, chain mail around our necks and any major arteries, and a sturdy silver helmet were all a part of our needed gear. We may fight the supernatural, but we were still mortal. We bled, we died, and if not for our runes to heal us we would have all expired years ago. I sheathed my swords in their holsters and went out to greet my Parabatai. He was already on horseback awaiting me, “There’s been word that the Vampire King is in the area, he rides with a warlock”

I mounted my horse easily and swiftly, “Then let’s find them”, he galloped off and I kicked my horse in his flanks and followed him. We rode over green rolling hills, the English countryside lush and beautiful, and the sun shining down over us. We searched a few towns we thought they might be in, but to no avail. Then as luck would have it we saw smoke swirling in the sky from a nearby field and decided to check it out. We tied our horses to some nearby trees and chose to walk in on foot letting us get the element of surprise. Alexander went around the long way to flank them on each side and we saw them sitting around a campfire with their horses. I knew at once they were the ones we were hunting. I could sense they were Downworlders and my entire body tingled with the approaching fight. As much as I may complain about the life I had to live there was definitely a large portion of myself that loved it. The euphoric rush that came with each battle was a charge to my soul. 

The warlock seemed to since our presence alerting his friend and they both went for their horses. The vampire was hooded cloaked from the sun and the warlock wore dark robes. I pulled my sword and ran full force getting to the vampire just as he saddled his horse. Alexander was on the other side dealing with the warlock. I had my sword jabbed into the vampire’s leg, “Unmount your horse and face me”.

I had the horse by the reigns holding him in place and the vampire dismounted knowing he had no other option. He lowered his head and used my blade to push off the hood hiding his face. I expected the sun to burn him where he stood, but was surprised when it did not. “Why do you not burn?” I bumped my sword into his neck holding the blade to his throat.

“I am a daylighter. I walk in the sun”, and he bared his teeth at me almost taunting me to cut him. It was then that I recognized him. I knew at once that this was the vampire I dreamed of. The face was the one that haunted my mind and my head screamed to kill him where he stood. My body however had other ideas and I was too caught up in my own dilemma to realize that my Parabatai was in trouble. The warlock had Alexander by the neck holding him close to his chest. I reacted grabbing the vampire and holding my sword against him. “Let me go, shadowhunter and my friend will spare yours”

Alexander stiffened in the warlocks embrace, “Don’t do it Jace. You have the vampire king. Kill him.”

The warlock only held tighter to Alexander, “I am quite bored with all of this nonsense. It is time to make our escape blue eyes”, and in a puff of smoke and blue sparks the warlock and my Parabatai were gone. They vanished before me without a trace and I was left holding onto the vampire alone in a field. 

“Where did he take him?” I questioned the vampire digging my blade in enough to draw blood.

“Even if I knew, which I don’t, I wouldn’t tell you”, the vampire taunted me with his words much the way he taunted me in my dreams.

“Then you are coming with me”, I pulled rope from my belt and bound his wrists together as tight as I could. I forced him to walk in front of me, the point of my blade to the back of his neck as we found our way back to where I left my horse. I didn’t trust the vampire to be far from me and selfishly I wanted him close. I helped him onto my horse and then I mounted sitting right behind him keeping my blade drawn and on him at all times. We had a long ride and with every stride of my horse our bodies were pushed together with insatiable friction. My thoughts meandered and I was aroused being so close to him. I tried desperately to control my body, but it seemed to respond to him so easily. I only prayed that he didn’t notice the way he stimulated me. Alexander’s horse followed close behind us. I kept glancing over at it expecting to see my friend only to realize all over again that the warlock had taken him. 

The sun was setting, the sky an array of pinks and orange. The temperature dropping cooling my skin and we were almost back to Oxford when he spoke, “So now that you have me, what are you going to do with me”, his voice was husky and if I didn’t know better I’d swear he was flirting with me.

“For your sake you had better hope that your warlock friend will trade you for my fellow shadowhunter or I’ll have to stake you through the heart”, I tried to sound convincing, but I’m sure my voice wavered. I hated that he had this effect on me.

“You should lie better. You won’t kill me”, he spoke a little too confidently.

“I assure you blood sucker I will”, and I dug the blade of my sword into his chest for good measure.

He was silent, but I could sense that he was smiling. I wish I knew what was going on in his head, but sadly we didn’t have a rune for mind reading. 

We arrived back in town just after sundown. I knew I should take the prisoner straight to the Clave in London, but I wasn’t sure if they would go along with my plan to trade him for Alexander. They would want to kill the vampire. They would sacrifice Alexander for the greater good, but I couldn’t do that to my Parabatai. I also wasn’t sure what I wanted to do with the vampire. I knew I should get him far away from me and my thoughts about him, but I wanted him. I’d wanted him since the first time I dreamed of him and now he was here with me. After I got off my horse I pulled him down with me, tacked the horses, and then led him into my home. 

He just smiled at me as I looked around the mostly barren room, “I see you’ve really thought this through”; he toyed with me. I grabbed chains from a bench in the far corner of the room and bound him to the rot iron foot of my narrow bed. He knelt there on the floor of my room staring up at me with those luminous brown eyes and my heart ached. I put his hood back over his face hiding him from my sight unable to look at him any longer without succumbing to him. I stripped out of my gear before washing up with a cloth at my basin. I swore I could feel his eyes on me the whole time, but each time I glanced his way he was looking down at the floor. I slid into my bed resting my arm over my eyes, my heart racing, and I knew I would never be the same. 

My inner devil wanted to drag me across the floor into his arms; I wanted to get lost in him. I had no shame for wanting him. I had captured him, but I knew I was caught in his web. He was the spider and I knew as sure as I knew the sun would rise in the morning that I was bound to him. I lay there breathing heavily keeping my eyes planted firmly on the roof over my head waiting for the dawn. I just needed to make it to the morning and I had to take him to London. I couldn’t trust myself alone with him. My body would give in to him and for the life of me I didn’t understand the power he had over me. 

I’m not sure when I fell asleep, I don’t remember any dreams from that slumber and I awoke to find him watching me from the foot of my bed. His eyes were black and large and he seemed paler than I remembered. His voice sounded almost hoarse, “I need to feed”, he licked his fangs and swallowed with his eyes on me the whole time. My heart was beating out of my chest and I sat up unsure of where I was going to find blood for my prisoner. I was too wrapped up in my thoughts. I didn’t realize he was no longer chained and tied until it was too late and he was on me, pinning me onto my bed. He shoved my head to the side exposing my neck to him, he moved up my vein breathing me in slowly, “I’ll be gentle”, his voice seductive and I didn’t strain against him. I gave in. I wanted this and as he sunk his teeth into me I felt pain at first, but then I was lost in bliss that I’d never known. My body hummed under him and under no control of my own my hand moved up and into his brown soft curls clinging to him as he fed from my blood. I could hear every beat of my heart sounding in my chest, the rhythm slowing down as he drank. 

Then he sat up wiping the blood from his chin with the back of his hand. I could feel the pain intensify in my neck and I watched in shock as he picked up my stele and handed it to me. “Why didn’t you kill me? You could have drained me and left me to die, but instead you’re going to let me heal myself?”

He nodded and I took my stele from him marking a fresh iratze on my skin and the pain I felt subsided. I couldn’t take my eyes off of him, “You taste better than I remember”

I wasn’t sure I heard him right, my eyes stunned by his words, “What does that mean? You can’t remember me, we’ve never met before?”

“That is where you are mistaken. You belong to me. I wouldn’t hurt you any more than you could have killed me yesterday. Although you were so adamant that you would. It was quite adorable”. I could only sit there, my mouth hanging open stupefied. I had no memory of him other than my dreams. Dreams that made sense if I’d known him before and I knew he was right. I couldn’t have killed him yesterday even if I’d wanted to. I belonged to him and deep down in the pit of my very soul I knew it to be true.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is very different from my usual stories. I've never written anything in the past so bare with me. This is Jace and Simon, but they will be quite different from their canon selves. I hope you like them.


	3. Home, From Memory

He just kept staring at me as if he expected something from me. I was still absorbing his words that somehow we’d met before although I had no memories of that long forgotten moment in time. My heart and head were torn between finding out more from this vampire and the need to find my Parabatai. Alexander was out there somewhere held captive by a warlock and I was here submitting to this blood sucker. I’d let him drink from me and I’d liked it. I’d been brought up to kill all Downworlders and yet here I was willingly becoming his victim. He smiled at me from across the room, “What are you smiling at?” I needed to know what was going on in his mind.

“You”, he stepped forward close enough that I could’ve touched him, “You’ve grown into a rather stunning man. You were pretty as a child, but you’re better than my wildest dreams had anticipated”. 

He tried to reach out and cup my face with his graceful hand, but I grabbed his wrist blocking his caress, “You knew me as a child?”

The vampire brushed off my hand a little too easily and ran his hand through my hair, “Yes, you were just a boy then with your bright blue eyes and your fair hair. I’ve been patiently waiting for you to be a man and now you are. Now we can be together, my love”.

My heart tightened in my chest. There were too many emotions, indecision weighing on me. I feared him, I lusted for him. I wanted to bow at his feet and I wanted to slit his throat. I thought back to my childhood and wondered what my innocent self would have thought of the monster before me. What had he done to me then that caused the torment I was feeling now? To be with him was to deny everything I was and yet to walk away from him was unthinkable. There were no words to describe what the hell was going on in my soul. He was like oil and I was water. We could never go together, but impossible to separate. I was part of him and had been for most of my life that much was evident. The moments passed before me and I stood there so still unable to move forward or step back. His eyes never leaving mine and I was swept up in guilt, anger, desire, shame. 

“What have you done to me”, my voice wracked out the words needing understanding.

“I saved you. I was supposed to slaughter you that night. I came in through your window. You were sound asleep and so beautiful. You looked up at me with those same intense blue eyes and I drank from you. It was the sweetest blood I’d ever tasted and I couldn’t take your life. I wanted you to belong to me so that night I made you mine. I’m sorry I had to leave you an orphan, but I did let you live”, he wiped away the tear that I didn’t realize was falling down my cheek.

I ached at his words, my mouth sticking together as I opened it to speak, “What do you mean you were leaving me an orphan? Are you the vampire that slaughtered my mother?” My eyes were wide; I yearned to take this monster’s head and burn it if he had taken my family from me.

“No”, he looked me right in the eyes, “my brother Raphael took your mother’s life while I was supposed to be taking yours”. His answers only caused more questions and I sunk down to my knees before him. I wasn’t sure I wanted to hear any more of this story. He moved to the floor gracefully and pulled me into his arms. I let him and I hated myself for it. “Hush, my angel, I’ve already said more than I intended to. We need to find your shadowhunter friend. That’s what you want, isn’t it?” I nodded; my throat raw from holding back tears. “I will help you find him”, he pulled my face to his, our foreheads touching, his breath rolling over me in waves, “Don’t take your eyes off of me”. I realized after he spoke that I couldn’t look away from him even if I’d wanted to. Our eyes were locked together and I knew he had more control over me than I would have liked. “We will talk of this later. It’s not time for you to hear this story. You are okay with waiting”. Again I nodded and my pain eased, the worry left my body, and the need for answers just fell away. 

I stood with his assistance and then he kissed me. I hadn’t been expecting it, but I acquiesced to his lips so warm against mine. I thought he would be hard and cold, but he wasn’t. He wasn’t anything that I’d expected. His lips against mine felt like coming home. I was bedeviled, spellbound, hypnotized by him, and I didn’t care. The world fell away in his embrace and I moved us toward my bed; I was seconds from ripping off my clothes just to lay skin to skin with him when he stopped me. He moved my hands away and refastened my blouse. “Please”, I begged him. He was my weakness and I coveted him more in that instant than ever before.

He smiled, “Soon, my love, very soon, but first we find my warlock brother and your friend. It was not my intention for him to take your Parabatai.”

“How do you know he is my Parabatai?” I wondered how he knew so much and what his intentions had been in that field. I’m sure he intended for me to find and capture him. I know now he came too easily. He had all the power.

“Jace, I’ve watched over you for most of your life. I’ve even visited you in your dreams, but you know that already, don’t you?” He looked at me in a way that I felt all the way to my toes.

“I had thought they were just dreams”

“Nothing is just a dream”, he took my hand and kissed softly across my knuckles. I remembered him doing the same in one of my dreams and I knew he spoke the truth. “Now get two horses ready and pack enough for a few nights. We have a journey to take”. I obeyed him without question and a part of me loathed that I wasn’t my usual commanding self around him. I got together the essentials before going outside to tack up the horses and load their saddlebags. 

I heard the footsteps just a moment before hearing her voice, “Jace, have you seen Alexander, he didn’t come home last night?”

Isabelle stood there with her long coal black hair and I didn’t have the heart to tell her the truth about her brother. “We were separated yesterday. I came back for some essentials and I’m heading back out to look for him”, it wasn’t a complete lie.

“Do you think he’s okay?” She looked worried and I could only nod in answer. Isabelle stood before me, her hair blowing in the breeze; her dark eyes looking up at me too lovingly, “Be careful”, and she kissed me on the cheek sweetly. 

I kissed her forehead wishing I felt for her what I felt for the monster hiding in my home. “I promise. I’ll bring Alexander back before you know it”. She smiled believing my words. I’d never given her reason not to believe me. Once she was gone I went back inside to get the vampire. “It’s time to go”.

He followed me out and got on to one of the horses alone. I wished we were riding together again; I would miss the feel of him close to me. He looked over smirking seeming to know what was going on in my mind. “By the way, my name is Simon”, and then he kicked off his horse stirring up dust behind him and I followed on my own steed. His name resounding through my whole body, Simon, and I smiled to myself as I galloped after him.


	4. Room For Two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I haven't been around lately. I've had a bit of a block on the writing front lately, but I'm back with a new chapter. I hope you all enjoy it as much as I enjoyed writing it. 
> 
> I'd love to know what you think...

The sun was high in the sky as we rode from town to town searching for the warlock and my friend. I had no option but to trust the vampire that lead the way. I wasn’t even sure he could be trusted and yet I followed him blindly hoping that he was leading me to my Parabatai and not into a trap. We spent the day looking for them without even a scrap of proof that they had been in any of the places we searched. Simon never let on about where we were going or if he had a plan at all, and in every corner we found nothing. By end of day I was growing anxious and annoyed at not being any closer to finding Alexander. The vampire dismounted his horse next to an Inn somewhere in Essex. I knew we were heading toward London by the path that we had taken today. “We will stay here for the night. I’ll get us a room”, I watched Simon walk inside and I took the horses to tack them for the evening. 

I wanted to keep going, to keep searching for Alexander, but I knew we needed to rest. My body ached from riding the whole day so I walked inside to find Simon waiting for me. I followed him up the wooden staircase and down a hall where he opened a door and ushered me in before entering behind me, “Is this my room or yours?” I asked, but already knew the answer he would say.

“This is our room, my love”, he cupped my jaw in his hand his eyes roaming over my throat and I swallowed. “I ordered you some dinner. They should bring it up shortly. You must be hungry”

My heart pounded in my chest at being so close to him, his hands on my skin, “So must you?”

He nodded and leaned in close to me, his breath warm on my neck, his voice seductive in my ear, “You have no idea”, he grinned, his fangs gleaming in the candle light of the room, “But I must wait a little longer. We can’t risk being caught”. My breath caught in my throat, I felt dizzy in his presence, and once again I was completely under his spell. All pretense of being a shadowhunter left me, as did my thoughts of Alexander somewhere needing me. I just wanted this vampire to pin me to the wall and drain me. I was hard just thinking about it when a knock at the door brought me out of my fantasy. A young girl with blonde curls walked in carrying a tray of food for me. She placed it on the table and then looked confused at seeing two people in the room, but only one tray. “Looks like our dinner has arrived”, Simon stated.

“I’m sorry, sir, were there supposed to be two trays?”

He was so fast; I never saw him move across the room until he’d already sunk his teeth into the young girl. I gulped down the bile rising in my throat and I knew I couldn’t let this happen in front of me. I rushed to the girl’s aid only be stopped by Simon’s firm hand on my chest, “I won’t kill her, now go eat your dinner”. I wasn’t sure I really believed him, but my body turned and went across the room to the table and began to eat. I had no control over myself and once again I found myself terrified by the vampire’s power. I sat there watching him drink from the blonde girl part of me repulsed by it and the other part jealous that it wasn’t me that he was feeding from. 

Simon wiped his lips after he was finished and made the girl look into his eyes, his words slow and methodical, “You delivered the food, you scratched your neck, you have no memory of me, now do you understand?” The girl nodded without blinking as if in some sort of trance. “Now go take care of your scratched neck”, the girl walked out of the room with a smile on her face. The vampire turned toward me then, “Did you enjoy your dinner?”

“What did you do to her?” I needed to make sense of what I had just seen.

“I glamoured her, she’ll have no memory of what just transpired. We are safe, and she’ll be fine, I promise” his eyes were transfixed on me.

“Is that what you did to me as a child? Is that why I have no memory of you?” I was once again full of questions.

The vampire moved toward me, “Not exactly the same thing, but yes I did glamour you. Now finish your dinner, you’ve hardly touched it”.

I glanced down at the plate of food and my stomach turned, “It seems you have ruined my appetite with your display”

He ran his hand through my hair, “Oh, you’re jealous that I didn’t feed from you. I wanted to, but you need your strength right now. We still have to travel tomorrow to find your friend.”

“I was not jealous. I feared for her and I was appalled by what you did”, I knew it was mostly a lie, but I didn’t want him to know how I really felt.

Simon grabbed me by the throat and pinned me to the wall, his body flush with mine, his face breaths from my own. “So you don’t want me? You are revolted by me, is that what you would want me to believe?” I nodded as I tried to steady my breath; he unfastened my pants and slid his hand inside wrapping around my rigid length, “Your body betrays you. So which is lying, your lips or your shaft?” I found it impossible to answer as he stroked me, my whole body yielding to his touch. “Maybe I should test your lips again”, he kissed me, his tongue flicking in to meet mine. I tried to restrain against him, but my arms reached around him drawing him closer and I kissed him back. I wanted this vampire and I knew I would burn in hell for my desire. I decided to enjoy what I could in this life before I was tormented in the Underworld for these sins.

He stopped pulling away from me, his hand still holding me against the wall; his eyes roamed over me, smiling, and he seemed to be waiting for me to speak. I gave in, knowing his hand was a collar around my throat, his arm the chain, and I belonged to him. He owned me and I knew it. I looked to the ground unable to look in his eyes as I surrendered. “You’re right. I was jealous. I want you. It was my body that deceived me as my words lied to you”

Simon released his firm grip on me and kissed the marks already forming on my skin from his fingers on my flesh, “No more lies, my angel, they don’t suit you”, I nodded and let him undress me. His fingers that had been so brutal were now gentle and loving. He took my stele from my pocket and marked me with a healing rune. The pain I had felt subsided and I let him lead me into bed. I lay there watching him as he slid off his own clothes before crawling into the bed next to me. He pulled me into his arms, his lips claiming me as his own, our bodies entangled below the sheets. I knew I wanted more, but I wasn’t sure how to do this. I had heard tales about a man and a woman, but I had never had the pleasure before. This was different. We were men and I had no idea where to even begin.

“I want to feel you”, my words were trembling as I whispered them into the air. My pulse was racing, my entire body tense with need. I ached to be close to him. 

He kissed my forehead, my fingers grasped him tightly as if he would slip away if I let go. I wanted him to take me deeper into this obsession. I wanted him to take my breath away with his every touch. He was my whole world, my purpose for living, and I never wanted to be parted from him again. I knew what I felt was too intense, it wasn’t normal, but in that moment lying skin to skin with him I wanted to leave the ordinary behind. The unknown was right here in this moment if I only knew how to take that first step. He leaned away from me, his eyes never leaving mine, “It’s not time yet. I will teach you in all the things you desire. You will be my pupil, and you will love me, not just lust for me. Only then can we truly be together”

I rubbed against him, aching, “But I want you now”. I was throbbing for him, my body yearning for release, and I could feel his own need against my hip. “I know you crave this as much as I do, please Simon”

He smiled, “Say it again”

“I want you”

“No”, he paused, “My name”

I grinned, a blush spreading across my cheeks, “Simon, please”

I could see him resigning to me as easily as if he had waved a white flag in front of my eyes. “I won’t do all the things I want to do to you tonight, but I will give you a little relief”. I didn’t know exactly what he meant by his words, but as his lips found mine, and his hand moved down my body and wrapped around me I didn’t care about anything but the way he made me feel. He tasted like copper and I moaned into his mouth as his fist tightened around me moving up and down. I was lost in him, my hand in his hair, my nails raking down his back, my body pumping up into his hand needing more. I arched into his every movement, his lips caressing my neck. I’d touched myself before. I thought I knew what it was to have a hand touch me, but nothing had prepared me for his hands. 

My whole body was desperate for him, my toes curled, my eyes so heavy I could barely hold them open, but I needed to watch him. I watched his hair fall in his face. I watched his eyes looking at me. I watched his lips on my waiting skin. I watched as his hand moved up and down over me. I watched as he slid his nails up my side leaving red marks. The urgency building inside me; I was so close and then he moved down the bed, his mouth inches from my length. My eyes glazed over not understanding until his hot mouth was surrounding me. His hand touched himself, thrusting into his own fist. His lips tightening around me like a vice and I exploded at the feeling and he drank me down. His own release hit him and I watched him shatter above me before collapsing against me. I was spent, sweating, and shaking as he moved up my body. He smiled at me, kissed me, and now his coppery taste was mixed with salt. He rolled me over into his embrace and I slept wrapped in his arms.


	5. Killing More than Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jace wants more of his vampire and Simon is thirsty for more as well

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am immensely sorry for anyone following this that I have let this sit dormant for so long. Life gets in the way as well as a case of writer's block. So I sat down with some hot tea on this Sunday afternoon and pounded out an update. Yay!!! Hope it was worth the wait.

I awoke before the sun was up and instinctively reached out for Simon, but found the bed empty and cold. The sheet slipped off my body as I sat up searching the dark room finding him standing at the windowsill. I climbed out of bed and walked over to him and he pulled me into his embrace holding me there as we watched the morning awaken. The moon was vanishing as the sun was just starting to rise. Pink streaks brushed across the sky as if it were a canvas. I felt his nose brush up along the back of my neck and I exposed my neck to him wanting him to feed off of me again. His finger traced the outline of my vein and he planted a soft kiss there before stepping away from me. “It’s okay, I want you to”, I told him as he started to get dressed.

“No, you need your strength so we can find your friend”, he was fastening his pants and grabbing his shirt.

I took three strides across the room and took his shirt in my hands tossing it to the floor, “But I want you. I want to feel like you made me feel last night. We could just lay in bed all day”, I knew I was blushing, but I didn’t care as I continued, “I want your mouth on me again”

“And what of Alexander?”

“Do you think your friend will hurt him?” I wasn’t sure what the answer would be, but it had already been days. I feared that if the answer was yes than Alexander may already be lost to me. 

 

Simon paused, “I’m not sure, Magnus is a hard warlock to read”

I knew I was being incredibly selfish. I knew I would hate myself if one day was the difference in life and death for my Parabatai, but in that moment with this vampire before me I didn’t care. I only wanted to crawl back into that bed and let him worship every inch of my body, “I just want you”. I dropped to my knees before him unfastening his pants and pulling them down. I wasn’t sure how to do what I wanted to do, but I had the memory of his mouth the night before and I wanted to please him the way he pleased me. I didn’t stop to wait for permission or really think about it at all as I leaned forward and took his thick length between my lips. He was large and heavy in my mouth, gagging me as I took him all the way in. His scent invaded my senses and I wanted more of him so I swallowed until he hit the back of my throat. He moaned above me and I let my hands roam up the back of his legs onto his ass. His hands were in my hair pulling me closer, stretching my mouth, and I loved every second of it. I could tell he was close and I wanted to taste him, but he yanked me up from the floor and tossed me onto the bed.

His eyes were black with lust as he climbed over me, his mouth caressing every inch of me as he made his way to my lips, “Are you sure, my angel. Is this day worth risking the life of your Parabatai?”

I knew that it wasn’t. I knew that if Alexander died because of this decision I would never forgive myself, but in that moment with his body flesh to flesh against mine I didn’t care, “Please”, it was the only word I could say and he kissed me. His lips were like a drug to me and I never wanted him to stop. His tongue dragged across the roof of my mouth and I bit at his lower lip as his nails dug into my skin scratching my back. We did just that for what felt like hours. Touching and kissing, our bodies rubbing against one another. The friction of him sliding against me was pure bliss, but I knew there was more than this. He was holding me against his chest playing with my hair when I asked, “How does this work? I mean two men together. I, um”, I was getting flushed and Simon placed his finger to my mouth quieting me.

“Sweet boy, I will explain all that in time. For now is this enough?”

“I love this. I was just wondering”, I hid my face into his chest and he pulled me close. 

“You’ve never been with a woman either, have you?”

I shook my head against him, “No”

“Do you know how a man and woman fit together, my love?” He cupped my chin and forced me to look up at him. 

“I’ve heard stories, but men are different”, I was sure I was a deep shade of crimson.

“Yes, they are, and soon I will show you. I will take you as mine and I will make you feel better than you’ve ever felt in your life. You will scream my name in pleasure” He kissed me deeply and I acquiesced to his advances so easily. I could never tell him no. I knew that I would give him every part of me for as long as he would have me.

“I’m yours now”, he pulled the blankets over our naked bodies. I noticed he looked paler, his eyes darker, “You’re hungry”, it wasn’t a question I was beginning to be able to read the signs. He nodded and I offered him the back of my wrist, “Feed off of me. I want you too”.

Simon rolled us so that he was hovering over me, he lay my wrist over my head, so I offered my neck, but he shook his head no as he slid down my body under the covers and lay between my legs. I was already hard again with anticipation, his breath caressing over me as he spread my legs and sunk his teeth down into the tender flesh of my inner thigh. I screamed out in surprise at first, but then in intense rapture. Euphoria hummed through my body as he drank from me. His teeth and nails ravaged my body and I flung the blanket off of him desperately wanting to watch him feed. I started to get weaker, my pulse slowing down, my heartbeat measured. I would have lay there and let him drain every last drop from my body, but he stopped himself. Licking over the bite marks before ascending back up to me. Simon started to leave the bed when I stopped him, “I’m just getting your stele so you can heal”.

“No”, I smiled running my finger over the wounds, “I want them stay there.”

“Let me heal you”

“I like knowing you’ve marked me as your own. They stay”, he nodded giving into me and I flipped us in bed so that now I was the one on top. He lovingly ran his hand through my hair, his eyes running over my face. Something inside of me shifted in that moment. I realized there in an Inn in Essex hovering over a vampire’s willing body that he would give in to me anything I wanted the same way I would give in to him.


	6. Passenger

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A short transitional chapter, Jace and Simon make there way to London

The day ended and the night passed and before we knew it the sun was rising again. As much as I wanted to stay tucked into this bed with Simon for all of eternity, I also knew that I needed to find Alexander. I lay there with my head tucked into the crook of my vampire’s arm watching him sleep. He was beautiful, pale skin, dark curls, long eyelashes, and he was all mine. I smiled up at him as he opened his eyes, “Don’t even try it again gorgeous. We must head out to find your Parabatai today”

“I know. No arguments for me. I was just watching you sleep and thinking that it is you that is gorgeous, not me”

Simon rolled them onto their sides running his hands through Jace’s long blond locks, “Your cheekbones might as well have been sculpted by the greatest artists. They’re perfect”

“I was just thinking that about your lips”, Jace kissed them teasingly.

Simon smiled, “Your eyes are breathtaking as the bluest ocean”

“Are we really going to lie here all day and argue over who is the prettiest?” 

“No, because there is no argument, it is definitely you that is the fairer of the two.” Simon kissed him quickly and then climbed out of the bed. “And we need to make up time for yesterday, so let’s get going”

I couldn’t argue with that point so we quickly got dressed and went down to the horses. Simon rode faster today and I easily kept up as we galloped across the English countryside getting closer and closer to London. We rode all day and when the sun went down Simon continued to ride in the dark for as long as he could. I kept him in my sights just barely. It was so dark and I knew he could see with his vampire eyes, I could not. I could feel him glance my way countless times and I knew we were close to the city and I assumed that was why he kept going. 

It was probably well into the next day when we arrived just outside the city, but it was still dark out. The sun hadn’t rose yet as we rode up to a stone building that was larger than anything I’d ever seen and tied up the horses. “What is this place?”

“My home”

“You live here”, I couldn’t believe my eyes as I looked upon what could only be called a castle.

“Yes, me and my servants, I sent word, so they should be expecting us”, I followed him in past the large door into a grand room with a fire roaring in the center. “Go get warm, my love, and I’ll gave them serve dinner”.

I watched him walk away down a hall and I went to sit next to the warm fire. I wasn’t aware how cold I had gotten until the warming blaze ran over me. A few moments later he walked out with a petite auburn haired woman at his side. She carried a tray of meat and bread and placed it next to me. We had rode all day without stopping so I was starving as I reached for the leg of meat and sank my teeth in letting the juices run down my chin. Then I watched as she offered Simon her neck and my whole body tensed in jealousy. I grabbed his wrist, “No, please, you’re mine”

Simon’s eyes softened when he looked at me, “I am yours, and you are mine, but you need energy, we are drained from today. I need to feed and I won’t leave you more spent than you already are. Please do not fight me on this, my love”.

I nodded allowing him to drink from her and I knew he was right, but I hated watching him with anyone but me so I turned my head away and finished my meal washing it down with a stein of ale. He took my hand and led me up stone stairs to his room. His med was ornate, twisted metal, and I’d never seen anything like it. His things were as beautiful as he was. We were exhausted as we fell into bed together. I nestled into him and fell fast asleep. I knew in the morning we would have to enter the city and find the warlock. I hoped he was here and I prayed that Alexander was still alive for us to save.


	7. Waiting Room

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alexander returns

I awoke to the smell of food and opened my eyes to a tray of breakfast next to me in the bed instead of Simon. I leaned over and picked at the bread and meat on the plate as I glanced around the grand room searching for Simon. He walked out of a doorway across the room fastening his shirt, “Finally awake, my love. I thought you were going to sleep the day away.”

“I guess I was tired from riding all day yesterday”, I sat up in the bed still chewing my food letting my eyes wash over him wishing he was still in the bed with me.

Simon sat down next to me and kissed me gently, “Yes, and I think you should stay here and rest some more, okay?”

“We need to go after the warlock and find Alexander. I can’t just stay here all day”, I tried to move the blankets aside so I could get up, but his hand upon mine stopped me.

His eyes looked deep into mine, “You will stay here. I will go after your friend. My warlock friend might get spooked if he sees you and I won’t take that chance. You won’t argue with me on this”

My body was tensed for a fight at first, but then I just relaxed into it nodding my acceptance without a fight. It was as if I had no power to say no to him. I willingly agreed even though deep inside I wanted to go with him, “I will stay here”.

He smiled at me, “That’s my good angel”, Simon kissed me again stronger this time arousing me. My hands reached for him, but he moved away, “Now make yourself comfortable. My servants will take care of anything you desire and I will return before dark, I promise”

I nodded and watched him leave. A few minutes after he had gone I was furious with him. I knew he had used some sort of vampire mind trick on me, but I was still unable to leave the castle. My body wouldn’t let me out even when I tried the front door. One of his servants found me there; this one was male and resembled me a little. He had the same fair hair and blue eyes, “Anything I can help you with sir?”

“No, I’m fine, thank you”, I stared him up and down wondering if Simon had been with this boy, but I didn’t want to know the answer so I went back up to his room. I paced for the better part of the day wanting to know where he was, if he was in trouble, had he found Alexander, but most of all just wanting him to return to me. After a while I got bored so I walked around his enormous home. There was an immense amount of art throughout, a weapons room, kitchen, stables, and a library. I wandered through the stacks of books fingering the pages. There was books about vampire history, journals, and there hidden I found a black journal with my name on it. Jace was written in silver hand script on the cover. I wasn’t sure if I should open it and read what lay in its pages. A part of me wasn’t sure I would like what I found there. I was just about to open it when I heard his voice behind me.

“Ah, there you are my love”, his boots moved closer, “What do you have there?”

I turned around to face him and let him see what I had in my hands, his eyes widened in surprise, “Why does this have my name on it?”

He looked visibly stunned and unsure of what to say, “I wasn’t ready to show you that yet. I’ve been watching you since you were a boy. I’ve kept a sort of journal about you.”

I looked down at the small book, “So you write about me, what sort of things do you write?”

“Well”, he paused, “At first it was just about what you did, your chores, or things you seemed to enjoy, but then it became more about how I felt about you”. I smiled and started to open it up, but he rushed across the room, so fast I couldn’t see him and took it from my hands, “Please don’t read this”

“Why not, if it’s just how you feel, well I already know that.” I kissed him full on the lips, “And I feel the same, remember”

“Yes”, he grasped my hand in his, “But there are still things I’d like to keep private. I will show you one day”

I nodded giving into him as I knew I always would, “So did you find Alexander, is he okay?”

“The world is funny sometimes, my love. It would seem my warlock friend and your parabatai have been growing close to each other the same way we have”

My eyes widened in amazement, “Alexander and the warlock are together?”

Simon laughed, “Yes, it would seem so. They are here to join us for dinner this evening.” He took my hand and led me out of the library leaving the book behind with all of its secrets. 

Alexander stood next to an exotic tanned skin man with the strangest eyes I’d ever seen. Our eyes met and we ran to each other both relieved as we embraced, “Alec, I’m so happy you are okay”

“As am I Jace, I had feared the worst. I see we were both wrong. Simon told us you are with him?” Alexander questioned me.

I nodded unsure of how to actually say it out loud. I was a shadowhunter. I should have killed vampires not fall for them so I was slightly ashamed of admitting this to Alexander, but as he stood with a warlock as his mate I eased my shoulders and smiled, “Yes, and you are with”

Before I could finish my sentence the warlock stuck out his hand for me to shake and introduced his self, “My name is Magnus Bane, and I am sorry to have worried you about your friend, but when I see something I like, well I have to have it. I wanted Alexander and I knew Simon wouldn’t harm you. I’ve tried to explain that to Alexander, but he had a hard time believing me”

“I’m sorry, you said you knew Simon wouldn’t harm me, but how would you know that?”

Magnus just grinned knowingly to Simon who was suddenly beside me with his arm around me. Simon explained, “I’ve told Magnus here about you before. He knew how I felt about you; however I was unaware that he’d be so taken with your Parabatai.” He waved his arm towards the far hallway, “Now follow me, dinner is served.

We dined in way that I had never known, a lavish spread brought out by servants. Candlelight glowed over the table as we ate course after course until I couldn’t have eaten another bite if I had tried. I was relaxed from all the wine and from knowing that Alexander was safe and sound. It was strange to me to look across the table and see him there smiling at this strange warlock. I looked to Simon at my side and he smiled at me. Everything seemed to be perfect, but I knew that a life waited for me back home. A life that I was destined for, but no longer wanted, I wasn’t sure how to be the man I was raised to be and be with Simon who was in every way my mortal enemy. While I had been searching for Alexander I hadn’t let myself think of the things that stood in our way, but now they were all I could think about.

“Are you okay, my love”, Simon’s hand on my knee caught my attention and I just smiled and nodded not wanting to let him know what was going on in my mind. “Time for bed then?”

Magnus spoke up, “But the night is young.”

Simon seemed to know I wasn’t in the mood for late night tales around the fire, “It is late, you and young Alexander are welcome to stay up as long as you like. The servants will take care of you and have you a room ready for tonight, but I will be taking Jace here to bed now”. He took my hand and escorted me out of the room. I glanced over my shoulder and mouthed the words good night to my Parabatai before leaving the room.

“Thank you for that”

“Of course, I could sense that something was troubling you. Now talk to me about it”, he squeezed my hand reassuringly.

Secrets were already between us so I decided to add another one. I wasn’t ready to voice my doubts to him so I made up one, “I saw a male servant today that had a striking resemblance to me”

“Xavier”, he said the servants name knowing exactly who I was speaking of.

“Should I be worried about him?” I feared the answer.

“I am with you now”, it was all he replied.

I nodded, “But you were with him before?”

“Only because of how he looked, I have been infatuated with you all your life. I saw Xavier and he reminded me so much of you that I bought him for myself. I have the real thing now; I have no need for him anymore.”

“So he was an imposter in your bed until you had me? Did you make love to him, drink from him, did you love him?” I had started this out as a way to distract him from my real issue, but this servant boy was beginning to get under my skin. I was consumed with jealousy and wanted him far away from my Simon.

“Jace”, he pulled me into his bedroom, “He is nothing to me. I did not love him. It is only you for me, I promise”

I smiled knowingly, “But you did sleep with him and feed off of him?”

He seemed to give in, “Yes, yes before you I was with him. I would send for him in the nights and he would come to my room. Is that what you wanted to hear?”

“No, I would have preferred not to hear that, but it is good to know the truth.” I turned away from him angrily.

“I love you, only you, my angel. Please do not hold my past indiscretions against me. Come to bed, my love, please”, he pulled me towards the bed.

I wanted to give in to him. I wanted to just forget the boy, but I had never been with anyone. I had no past loves to counter with, and I was envious of knowing he’d been with another man. The way I was consumed with Simon was possessive and unnatural but I didn’t care. He was mine and I was his and I wouldn’t let some blonde servant anywhere near him, “Get rid of Xavier for me”

“I will sell him to another tomorrow. Please believe me when I say that no one is of any consequence to me except for you. I will lay down my life for you. I love you. My every allegiance is to you and only you, my angel.” He pulled me to him and I acquiesced to his desires. Our bodies were pressed together, his lips danced with mine, and I moaned into his mouth as he laid me back onto his bed. 

Our clothes were shed deliberately and before I knew it we were skin to skin wrapped in his sheets, his length pressed into my thigh. The friction of our bodies was insatiable and I as always wanted more. I wanted to be closer to him. I wanted to be with him in every way, but I was still uneducated in the ways of love making with another man. I pulled away for just a moment, his lips were swollen and red, I panted against him, “Prove your love to me?”

“Anything my love”

His hands held me close, my body covered in sweat glided up to his lips again, “Take me now; show me how much you love me. I want you to”

“Are you sure”

I curled up into him, breathing in his scent and letting it intoxicate me, “I’ve never been more sure of anything in my life”, he smiled knowingly and I knew I had won. He was giving into me as he flipped us over so he was above me pinning me to the bed and he kissed me with more passion than I’d ever felt from him before.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't worry, I'm not skipping anything, the scene you want will be the next chapter.


	8. Undertow

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Smut, just smutty goodness

I lay beneath him, his body pressed against mine heavily, and his hands cradling my face as he kissed me. We’d kissed plenty of times, but this one felt different. This kiss was stronger, there was no more holding back. Simon was finally going to be with me in all the ways I’d been imagining. His tongue dipped into my mouth tasting me causing carnal sounds to escape my body. I was beyond ready, hard and eager for whatever he was offering. His dark curls fell into his eyes as he looked at me, “I need to hear how you feel about me, my love. I need to know this is more than just your body talking”

“I want you with every piece of me, Simon. I want you with all of my heart”, I admitted to him as my heart pounded in my chest. “I love you”, I knew those the words he wanted to hear from me. He smiled showing me his fangs, it was then that I knew he was probably starving. He’d been out all day, he’d watched us all eat our dinners without a drop of blood to his lips and now he was making his way down my body. His kissed and licked his way down my chest, pausing to scrape his teeth against one of my nipples causing me to arch up into him. I felt him finger the wounds still on my thigh. His bite marks that I wouldn’t let him heal. I groaned out as he sunk his teeth into them again drinking from me. I shoved the covers back needing to watch as he fed. I loved the bliss that overtook me, the power I felt knowing how desperately he needed my blood. My fingers threaded into his hair tugging at him just a little as I started to feel weaker. He stopped looking up at me from the bottom of the bed and licking across his teeth seductively before taking my length into his mouth. 

I almost came right then. His hot taut mouth sucking me had my toes curling and calling out his name. My fingers still in his hair as he bobbed up and down over me, my eyes grew heavy, my breaths slower; it felt as though I were drowning. He was the powerful sea and I was consumed by it. Drifting lost being pulled out by the undertow and I never wanted to swim back to shore. I would let his waves crash over me for the rest of our lives if I could. Then when I was just about to lose myself completely he stopped working me with his incredible mouth and moved my legs up so that my knees were at my chest. I wasn’t really sure what was about to happen, but everything he’d done so far had been amazing so I let him do with me what he wanted. 

His tongue ran over my puckered hole and I shot straight out of bed at the sensation. Why would he be doing that there? Why was it so sensitive? “What are you doing?” 

“Trust me, my angel”, he told me as he attempted to move my legs up again.

The whole sensation was too vulnerable. I’d never felt so open and exposed and I wasn’t truly sure I was comfortable with this new approach. “I do trust you, but I’d like to know what you are doing?”

Simon climbed up the bed and smiled, “We don’t have to do this if you’re not ready”, he brushed away the long hairs from my face.

“No, I want this, but I’m not sure what this entails”, I just wanted him to explain how everything worked.

“Do you know how a man and woman fit together?”

I gulped, “I’ve never actually had the pleasure, but I’ve heard things, but women are different”

He gave me this devilish side grin, “Yes they are, but men can still fit together. You have an entrance I was just trying to get it ready for me, so it won’t hurt”

“It hurts?” Confusion was quickly turning to fear, maybe I wasn’t ready for this after all.

Simon leaned over me kissing my cheeks, “It can, but it will also be the most intense pleasure you’ve ever known.” He looked me straight in the eyes, “You just need to relax. Take a deep breath and stay calm”. The moment he said it my entire body softened in his embrace. The uneasiness I’d been feeling just went away and I knew he was glamouring me again, but in this instance I didn’t care. “You are going to love this, I promise”

He kissed me again, his tongue playing with mine arousing me all over again before moving back down my body. His hand wrapped around my shaft pumping me a few times before lifting up my legs again. I didn’t fight it this time. I let him run his tongue over my entrance; it was warm and strange at first. It felt slippery and a part of me knew this was wrong. I lay there and let him continue wondering if this part was for him, maybe vampires like this sort of thing. I love him so I let him do it, but then a few minutes in it was amazing. I never wanted him to stop as I clawed at the sheets and screamed out savoring each feeling that ran through my body. 

Simon stopped and I let my head fall back to the pillow, a full smile across my face, and then I heard his voice, “Stay relaxed baby, I’m going to do something else now.” My body was humming, ready for anything, but then I felt his finger at my hole. My eyes shot open wider than ever in my life and I was just about to tell him to stop, but I remembered his words and how everything he’d done had been unbelievable so I steadied myself, and took a deep breath. The feeling was so foreign, I couldn’t imagine how this could feel good, but he kept moving it in and out. I did my best to stay relax and then he added another finger, “You’re doing so good, my love”. I nodded to him trying to get used the sensation of having his fingers inside of me. 

Then he moved in just a certain way and I completely became undone, “Yes, oh god”, I sat up wanting to see what he was doing, and panting at this point, “Do it again”, he hit the same spot again and I called out his name, “Simon, please, don’t stop”.

“You like that, my angel”, I nodded and he kept on pleasing me and then added a third finger. I felt full and stretched, and every time he touched that hidden place inside of me I was lost at sea again, drowning in him, and loving every second of it. He pulled out his fingers and I’d never felt more hollow, more empty in my life. I sat up searching for him wanting that feeling back and he was getting on his knees touching his self. I watched him playing with his thick length; he was getting harder with every stroke, “Lay back down”. I did as told and he spread my legs getting in between them and placing his self at my entrance. It was all suddenly so clear now. I understood how we would fit and tried to calm myself as I saw how much bigger he was going to be than his fingers.

He moved so slow at first, gradually pushing himself in and letting me get accustomed to how he felt. I could become addicted to feeling this complete. It’s as if we were one person locked together. It took a few minutes, but then finally he was all the way inside of me. Simon just stayed like that watching me beneath him, letting his eyes run over my naked body connected to his. I was desperate for friction, “Move, Simon, please, let me feel you”.

I felt him pull back just a bit and then move back in all the way to the hilt. My head fell back, my mouth open in ecstasy. “You are so beautiful like this”. I smiled, reaching up and running my fingers over his chest. He moved in and out again and again, starting a rhythm and my body moved to crash into him over and over. His movements quickened, my arms fell back over my head. He’d been right, this was the greatest pleasure I’d ever known and then his hand was on my length, stroking me in time with his body. I wasn’t going to last much longer. It was all just breaths, and sweat, and tingling nerves bundled together with his. I was done with coherent thoughts. My body tightened moving up to meet with him stroke for stroke. With every thrust of his body and his hand I was overwhelmed. He would haunt every dream I had for eternity now. My eyes would only ever ache for him. My ears want only for the sounds coming from our entangled locked bodies. My lips quench for him. My hands would long to touch his pale cold skin. My nose would never forget the smell permeating around our excited aroused bodies. Then I was cumming in his hand. My body spent and he milked me dry as I lay there moaning, screaming out in desire for him.

Then I watched as he too was overcome. He slammed into my drained body, my name now the one passing over his lips, his nails digging into my flesh. Simon fell down over my body, still connected, and his lips softly kissed over mine. He ran his hand through my sweat coated hair, and I looked into his dark eyes, “That was amazing”, he smiled kissing me again.

“Yes, yes it was. You are so perfect, Jace. This is all so much more than I ever thought I’d have with you. You are mine, my love, you can never leave me”

As much as I wanted to believe everything he said I wasn’t sure I could make that promise to him. I had been prepared for another life. I was a shadowhunter. I had a betrothed waiting back at home with me and yet here I lay wasted and drunk on love with a vampire. We’d made love and that’s all I wanted to think about right now as I smiled up at him, “When can we do that again?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope everyone is enjoying this story.
> 
>  
> 
> Figured I'd give a shout out to one of my favorite bands Midwest Kings. I've been using their song titles for chapter titles to this story. You've probably never heard of the band, they are not big, but you should give them a listen.


	9. Roses and Cyanide

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things take an unexpected turn

I awoke sore, my body aching everywhere, but I smiled to myself as the memories of the evening before washed over me. We’d made love all night long, all over this room. Each time was better than the last and I was insatiable when it came to being with him. I rolled over away from the glaring light of the window to find myself alone in bed again. I found a tray of food just like the day before and two long stem blood red roses. I grinned and picked one of them up breathing in the sweet smell. Simon was nowhere to be seen and I craved him more than the food, but decided to eat what was left for me. I wondered where he was and why he hadn’t been in bed with me this morning. I was already hard as I thought of his lean beautiful body lying next to mine. 

After finishing my breakfast and sucking my fingers clean I got up planning to look around for Simon, but everything went dizzy. The room spun, my legs weak, and my pulse slowed; I felt everything going black. I fell to the floor and then there was nothing. 

 

 

The burn on my skin was warm, healing, and when my eyes fluttered open I was lying in bed surrounded by Simon, Alexander, and Magnus. “What happened?”

Fury rose in Alec’s eyes, “You were poisoned. I felt it and came as fast as I could. If we weren’t Parabatai and you weren’t a shadowhunter capable of being healed, you would be dead right now.”

“Who would poison me?” I was stunned as I sat up in bed starting to feel better as the iratze worked. 

Simon rose, tears fresh on his face, his anger boiling over, “I’ll kill him”, and he took off faster than humanly possible.

“Wait”, I called out unsure where he was going, still confused by the morning events, but I tossed back the covers and attempted to head after him, but Alexander’s arm on mine stopped me, “Let go of me. I need to go after him”. He nodded understanding and let go, my strength wasn’t fully back so I ran through the castle slower than I would have liked, but I found him finally in a corridor standing over the body of the servant boy that looked so much like me. He was dead, his blue eyes wide looking right through me, two bite marks at his throat, “You killed him?” I asked knowing the answer and stepping back.

“I had to”, Simon stepped over the boy’s body walking towards me, “He tried to poison you. He just admitted it to me”. He reached out to cup my face, but I flinched away, turning from him as I was reminded that I am a shadowhunter and he is a vampire. We are mortal enemies; I am sworn to protect the weak from the demons and monsters. I couldn’t turn back around to see the young boy lying dead behind me. “Jace, please”, his voice so tender in my ear and a part of me wanted to give in to him, but the shadowhunter part of me knew I shouldn’t feel that way.

“You killed a boy. Do you know what I am supposed to do now?” The tears rolled down my face even as I tried to stop them.

“You won’t kill me, you can’t”, Simon walked around me and forced me to look at him, “You love me Jace, and I love you. He almost killed you this morning all because I said I was sending him away.”

“And I asked you to do that”, I swallowed down the bile rising in my throat, “Did he love you?”

“I believe so”, Simon took my hand in his and led me down the hall away from the dead boy, but the image was there ingrained in my mind. The pale vision of that boy who looked so much like me lying there drained and lifeless would never escape me. “He isn’t innocent Jace, and I punished him for a crime, it is done”

“No”, I screamed, “You retaliated out of revenge for me, you used you’re fangs to kill him. You should have explained, waited, and let Alexander and I question him and then do as we seemed fit.”

Simon held my face in his hands, “And if this had been reversed, what if he had tried to kill me. Imagine me lying in the floor of our room dead at his hands and tell me you wouldn’t have done the same as I. You are my life, he tried to murder you, and I’d kill him all over again for what he did to you, my angel”

I nodded. I knew he was right, if Xavier had tried to kill my Simon I would have done worse than draining the blood from his body. I clenched my fists in anger as the image of Simon’s dead body entered my mind and I knew what it must have felt like for Simon to walk in on me lying there in his room. Anger and relief washed over me, but also the covetous manner of possession I felt over Simon. I grabbed him by the throat and pressed him into the wall, my body holding his in place, “I understand why you did it, but it was wrong and I need your word that you won’t do it again. I can’t keep you safe otherwise. If anyone found out about you, about us, about any of this, they would take you away from me and I can’t ever let that happen. I will never let them part us. The clave would kill you for this and I can’t take on the entire world of shadowhunters. Do you understand me now?”

My grip on him never wavered even as I saw the lust in his eyes; he nodded to me and licked his lips. I let go of his throat, but kept my body tight against his, pinning him into the stone of the hallway. “I’ve never seen you so forceful. I like it”, he winked at me.

I tried to suppress my grin, “So you won’t do it again?”

“Do you have any idea how much you are turning me on right now?”

I returned my hand to his neck, letting my nails dig into his skin just a bit, “I’m serious”, I said through gritted teeth.

“So am I”, his voice was strained, choking on the way I was crushing his throat with my bare hand, but I could feel his erection on my hip.

“Promise me, Simon”

He closed his eyes giving into me, “I promise”. I liked the power coursing through me. I liked the feeling of dominance , but mostly I loved the submissive way Simon sunk to his knees in front of me, pulling me out of my pants, and into his hot wet waiting mouth.


	10. Fairweather Friend

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jace and Alec have conflicting words

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it has been about forever since I have worked on this and I'm so very sorry. My inspiration has been lacking for quite a while, but it's back at least for now. So here is an update.

I just stood there. I gave in to him the way I always did. His mouth so warm, so wet as he worked me over. Sucking, licking, caressing with his strong hands. The memory of the dead servant boy a distant memory. The fact that we stood in the hall of his mansion where anyone could see us didn’t matter to me. I glanced down watching him taste me over and over again; the sensation running over my whole body. A smile on my face and I let my head fall back, my eyes closed as I just gave in to the feeling. It was pure bliss.

A throat clearing across the way brought me out of the moment. I glanced up to see Alec watching from down the hall. He nodded his head and I knew he wanted to speak to me. However Simon wasn’t finished with me and even as I tapped his shoulder to stop, he continued. His mouth moved faster, his suction stronger, and suddenly I was spilling down his throat right in front of my parabatai. Simon giggled, wiped his mouth with the back of his hand, and stood up turning to face Alec. Simon stood between us as if guarding me.

“I need to speak with Jace”, Alec’s voice was firm, unyielding.

Simon just looked at me, no question on his lips, but I could see that with just a glance he was asking if this was okay with me. I nodded acceptance and Simon glided down the hall back towards his room. I looked at Alec standing there before me, “Was that really necessary. You couldn’t have waited a few more minutes”

“No”, his eyes burned with anger, “That vampire, just killed a boy and you are here with your dick in his mouth. You know what you have to do. He has to die”

My swords were back in our room, Alec stood there unarmed as well and I had to admit in that moment it was for the best. I moved fast as lightning, my shadowhunter reflexes swift as I shoved Alec backwards into the wall, “If you touch one hair on his perfect head I will slice you from groin to nose”.

Alec looked shocked, his eyes looked at me in a way that I’ve never seen. “Jace, what has he done to you? You’ve known me since we were boys, you are my Parabatai, and him, and you’ve known that thing for days. You would truly slaughter your best friend for a vampire?”

“I love him. I can’t explain it. I don’t want to hurt you, but yes I fear that if you hurt him I would lose all control and murder you. Just leave this, forget what you saw. The boy tried to kill me, we would have killed him for that crime anyway. Just”, I paused overcome in that moment at the thought that I could lose either of them if I said the wrong thing next, “I can’t lose him, and I don’t want to lose you either. Please Alec forgive his transgression for me. I beg of you”

“He is a vampire, it will never work”

“What of you and the warlock? Is that going to work?” In the back of my mind a part of me knew that he was right.

“I know who I am”, Alec stood straight, his eyes locked on mine, “I know who we are. We are shadowhunters and our lives are not our own. I am betrothed and you are as well. This is not our life now, Jace. This is a moment for us to rebel and walk the dark unknown. We will have to go home and we will have to give them up. You do know that right?”

“No”, I shook my head, “I’m not going back. Simon is my life now. I’m sorry if you can’t accept that.”

“You can’t be serious”, Alec looked at me as if we were strangers and in that moment I’m sure he didn’t know me at all.

“I am”, I smiled as I knew it to be true. Simon was my life now. I knew that out there in the world was another life I was supposed to live, but I would follow my lover to the ends of the earth. I could never go back to Isabelle. It would torture my heart and soul for eternity to walk away. 

“You give me no choice. I must tell the clave”, Alec spun on his heels. He would go into the city and he would split my very world apart with his words. I moved to stop him, but Simon was there. He was face to face with Alec. 

“You have no memory of the servant boy”, Simon’s words were sharp as a knife, seductive almost, and Alec was under his spell. “You slept in with Magnus this morning. It was magical, you’re happy, everything is right in the world. Isn’t that right Alec?”

“Yes”, Alec’s voice sounded different, he nodded, smiled, and walked down the hall.

“You glamoured him?” I asked already knowing the answer.

“I had to, and I’m sorry about eavesdropping, but you know I am a vampire. I could have heard your conversation without trying.” He kissed me softly, holding me close, “Was that okay? You’re not mad about my glamouring him?”

“No”, I felt like a weight had lifted, “It had to be done. I won’t lose you, my love”, Simon smiled at my words.

“And you never will, my angel”, he took my hand and led me back to our room. We walked past where the boy had been and his body was gone, the room cleaned. It was as if it had never happened. I was torn in knowing that a young boy lost his life and the world just kept going, and yet I was alive. I was with Simon now and I knew I was going to have to figure out how to merge this new life with the man that I was raised to be. The shadowhunter in me would be conflicted, but I knew now I would forgive Simon anything and I wasn’t sure if that was a good thing.


	11. Song to Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Their love deepens

The days drifted by and I was the happiest I’d ever been. We’d stay in bed all day making love, feeding each other, talking. It was bliss and I began to forget my other life, my obligations. Alec had left with Magnus after the death of the servant boy that he could no longer remember. Simon had given the boy a funeral, but I wouldn’t attend. I couldn’t bare the reminders of what he’d done even if it had been for me. Today was the first day I’d decided to visit the boy’s grave.

I walked through the grassy fields that surrounded the castle and continued by the water’s edge the way Simon had instructed. There on a hilltop I could see stones of a graveyard; the fog knee deep today making it difficult to read the tombstones as I walked among them. Finally I found it his name engraved in the granite, “Xavier William Martel”, his name on my lips felt like poison. I tried to remember how he had poisoned me; this boy would have me here in this grave instead of him. Instead Alec had saved me and Simon had slain Xavier. I wanted to weep for the boy or maybe attempt forgiveness for what he had done to me, but all I could do was stand there and stare solemnly at his headstone. 

Footsteps behind me alerted me to a presence and then a whistle. A tune that sounded Irish and very somber. I turned to find Simon standing there watching me as he whistled. “I know you said you wanted to be alone, but waiting alone with my thoughts was killing me. Sorry to intrude”

“It’s fine”, I told him, “I want to feel something for him, but I don’t know what to feel. Anger for trying to kill me, or sadness that he’s dead. I don’t like thinking about how it was you that killed him”

“Don’t think about it my love”, Simon stood next to me taking my hand, “Let us just go home, please”, his eyes begging me.

I nodded, squeezed his hand, and we walked back toward the castle. My heart still weighed on me over my decision to forgive Simon for what he’d done. I was raised to slaughter vampires, and loving one in this way was foreign to my shadowhunter soul. As we walked by the water Simon continued to hum the tune he’d been whistling earlier. It was beautiful, “What are you humming?”

“Something I made up for you”, he smiled at me.

“For me, you wrote a song for me?”

“Of course, my angel”, Simon spun me around playfully as he continued the song. He pulled me in close to his body swaying us back and forth, slowly dancing by the water’s edge. My heart ached for him in a way I’d never known. He was my everything now, my reason for living, my joy. I was completely entangled into his world now; the realization of how far from my own life I’d become was startling to me. I had walked away from everything I’d ever known to be with Simon. I was madly, deeply, absolutely in love with a vampire. 

“I love you”, I’d said it many times before to him, but today my love for him felt more intense, something had changed in me over the past few days. 

“I love you too”, he answered easily the way he always did, but I wasn’t sure he understood the full magnitude of my words.

“No, I mean I truly love you”

Simon touched my face, his palm against my cheek, “I know my angel, I love you too, for eternity, forever, until the day you leave me”

“I will never leave you”, I said it with such earnest staring straight into his eyes trying to look into his very soul.

He hung his head, his body almost trembling, I could feel sadness and fear rolling off of him, “But, Jace, one day you will. One day you will leave me. I am immortal”

The realization hit me, he would never die, and he would never grow old or look less beautiful than he did in this very moment. I would age, I would grow old, wrinkle, and I would die. This is the way it would be, this is the way it is, life goes on. I would be just a short story for him. I was but a few chapters in Simon’s life. He would go on without me. He would love another one day and I would be dust. I stared at him, unable to move, frozen in that place trying to push back the tears clawing at my eyes. My throat aching, and he reached for me. He pulled me to his chest and I broke. “How will you love me when I am old and you are beautiful?”

Simon was pale, he was smaller than me, and I sometimes forgot how strong he could be, but in that moment by the water he swept me up from the ground, carrying me in his strong arms, and as quickly as it took me to blink we were back in our bedroom lying in our bed. His face was mere breaths from mine, “Jace, hear me when I say this, I will always love you, always. No matter what happens.”

I gulped feeling the intensity of his words the way I had felt when I said I love you to him just moments before. I knew I didn’t need him to promise me this. I knew what he said was true. Simon would always love me, whatever this world brought our way, if I was old and gray, I knew I’d never be alone. “Make love to me”

He nodded, kissing me, undressing me, and a single word escaped his perfect lips, “Always”.


End file.
